Matt
At twe
lve midnight in the midst of an electrical storm, Matthew Sigmund Magnus Short was born in an abandoned castle high in the mountains. The son of a gypsy troubadour and an exotic dancer, it seemed Matt was destined to lead the restless life of a rambling man in show bands across the lands.
Forced to cut his career as a professional gambler short after being accused of cheating at baccarat by a Sultan whose last gold ring had just been wagered, Matt fled the east eventually falling in with hard rocking band 'The Feelers' who were working on their latest album and holding court in the cafes of the Left Bank in Paris.
Matt's favorite colour is James Reid and is allergic to penicillin. He tried an honest days work once, but his employer let him go saying 'No hard feelings mate, I'd pat you on the back but I'm afraid you might burst a lung!' Playing bass for the feelers has helped Matt deal with his attention deficit disorder, the trials of which he chronicled in his acclaimed essay 'Inside voice/outside voice: why can't you just shut the f%*$ up?'
His favorite pie flavor is Feijoa. Matt also has trouble keeping his secret super-power a secret. Matt prefers Holdem to Five Card Stud, and is currently broke.
Favorite quote: 'Show me a home where the buffalo roam, and I'll show you a house with a very messy carpet' - the opening lines of Hamish Gee's 'Rough cuddles and the truth about cabin fever'
Favorite drink: Brandy Alexander. Other favorite drinks include whisky, whiskey, rum, vodka, grappa, aqua vitae, eu de vie, long island iced anything.
Matt is not good at kung fu or vacuuming. He remembers vividly the first time he picked up a bass guitar, or um was it a banjo? In any event what was obvious then was that he should quit the violin and immediately begin on the road to ruin and began his career as a rock musician.
There once was a lad form the Bay
of Plenty, but he didn't stay
Instead north he went
and his time was mis-spent
playing 4 chords for 3 pence-a-day
- Annononmouse